words in movies
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
Rachel: Bye. (Ross exits.) Ahhh (Silence) So this is fun, huh?
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
(There's a couple of seconds of silence. Then Chandler looks around...)
Chandler: And I don't wanna say this, I don't you guys to hate me, but uh, I don't think, I can be around that dog anymore. Okay, so either the dog goes, or I go. (An awkward silence ensues.) Oh my god!!
(He leaves the gang in stunned silence.)
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Chandler: Hey listen, for the first four years of my work everybody called me Sha-la-lap. (Awkward silence ensues.) Seriously.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Joey: Huh. Okay. (Awkward silence.) So uh, I think Im gonna take off.
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
(Stunned silence ensues.)
(Silence.)
(An awkward silence ensues.)
[A moment of silence.]
(long moment of silence)
(An awkward silence follows.)
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
(An awkward silence)
(An embarrassed silence... finally broken by)
(an awkward silence follows)
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
(Silence ensues.)
Ralph Lauren:: Hi Kim. (Dead silence until Ralph gets off the elevator.)
Ross: (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
(There's an awkward silence then suddenly Phoebe gets an idea.)
(Silence ensues.)
(He does a kara-tay move to silence her, then answers the phone.)
(Theres an awkward silence.)
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
[Silence.]
(A brief silence ensues.)
(Monica is shocked into silence.)
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
(We hear some fumbling at the door, then silence.)
Ralph Lauren:: Hi Kim. (Dead silence again until he gets off.)
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
(Awkward silence.)
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
(An awkward silence follows.)
(More awkward silence.)
(Silence)
(silence)
(They all stand a moment in silence, staring out of the window.)
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
(An awkward silence ensues.)
(There's an awkward moment of silence)
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
(Silence)
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
(He slowly walks to the other side of the couch and sits down at the table, an awkward silence follows.)
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! (silence) Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!!
(Silence ensues.)
(All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.)
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.