words in movies
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Ross are exiting a pizza place.]
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
JANITOR: Word on the street - well, when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Eighth street deli?
(All are returning from the street after picking up dropped lottery tickets)
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Phoebe: (singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
[Scene: City street. The whole gang is walking up to the movie set.]
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Gunther: Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter).
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
[they all jump in the street and prepare to fight]
[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]
Announcer: And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! Hes a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found the Porsche and is writing the note.]
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
[Scene: City street. Whole gang is there seeing off Marcel.]
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom wont let me cross the street.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Chandler: (reading the paper) Says here that a muppet got whacked on Seasame Street last night. (to Ross) Where exactly were around ten-ish?
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
[Scene: The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.]
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
[Scene: A street, Chandler is kissing Ginger.]
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
[Scene: A Street: Monica and Phoebe are walking to a newsstand.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Danny: The pizza-place across the street any good?
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)
Monica: So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Lizzie are at a hot dog vendor.]
(They storm out into the street.)
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
(They storm out into the street.)
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
Joey: Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street.
Joey: So, were walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, Hey, lets go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes, remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, Nah, lets just hang out at your place. Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
Pizza Guy: Yeah. This one goes across the street, I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead!
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
[Scene: A Street, Joey is walking by Kristen who is still moving in.]
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.]
Chandler: Really? Right across the street?
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Chandler: ...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Amy are walking on the sidewalk.]
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Rachel: Not in the street!!
Ross: Maybe Ill take her to that new French restaurant down the street
[Scene: A Street, Ross walks past Tag wearing the same red sweater.]
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.