words in movies
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Susan: Carol, not me.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Susan: It's my baby too.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Susan: Ahh!
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Susan: Hey!
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Susan: I like Ben.
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
(Susan and Emily get off.)
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Susan: Oh, I wouldnt miss it for the world.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Ross: (staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Susan: (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)