words in movies
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Look at that.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
(Susan enters.)
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
(Susan enters)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Susan: Breathe.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Susan: What's it look like?
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Susan: What is, honey?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: But were fine.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Uh huh.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Susan: Carol, not me.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]