words in movies
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Susan: Like lovers.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: But were fine.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: Susan, go deep.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Susan: What is, honey?
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Susan: She.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Look at that.
(Susan enters)
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: What's it look like?
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: Thanks.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
SUSAN: The other us.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]