words in movies
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Susan: Like lovers.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: But were fine.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: Susan, go deep.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Susan: What is, honey?
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: What's it look like?
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
SUSAN: What?
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Susan: It's my baby too.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Susan: Hey!
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Susan: Ahh!
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Susan: I like Ben.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
(Susan and Emily get off.)
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)