words in movies
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Susan: Like lovers.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: But were fine.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: Susan, go deep.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Susan: What is, honey?
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Look at that.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
(Susan enters)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: What's it look like?
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: What?
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Susan: It's my baby too.