words in movies
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Hi.
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Ross.
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Susan: She.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Susan: It's my baby too.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Susan: Look at that.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Susan: Carol, not me.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Susan: Cantaloupe juice.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Susan: Ahh!
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Susan: Hey!
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Susan: I like Ben.
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
(Susan and Emily get off.)
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Susan: No, she's at a faculty meeting.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is running to answer the door.]
Ross: No, Susans gonna be there too. Weve got dads, weve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan: I mean, thats what this is all about, right? Ross? Ross?
Susan: Oh yeah, Im so excited, Ive never been there.
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Susan: Oh, I wouldnt miss it for the world.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]