words in movies
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.
Susan: Your son.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: You did!
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Yes.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: What do you see?
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Susan: I like Ben.
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
Susan: Thanks.
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Susan: Look at that.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
(Susan enters)
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
Ross: Susan...
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Susan: What is, honey?
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: What's it look like?
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: But were fine.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Like lovers.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
Susan: Uh huh.
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
SUSAN: What?
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Susan: Carol, not me.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
SUSAN: How you doin'?
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
Susan: Oh, good. Thisll be fun.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Carol and Susan: (entering) Hey!!
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Carol and Susan: It's a...
Susan: It's my baby too.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.