words in movies
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.
Susan: Your son.
Susan: I got it.
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: You did!
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
Susan: Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: Yes.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan: What do you see?
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Susan: I like Ben.
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Ross: Yknow, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Look at that.
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
(Susan enters)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Susan: What is, honey?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: But were fine.
Susan: What's it look like?
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Susan: Like lovers.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
SUSAN: Hey.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
Susan: This should be fun.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
SUSAN: What?
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
SUSAN: How you doin'?