words in movies
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Look at that.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
(Susan enters)
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
(Susan enters holding a drink.)
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?
Susan: But were fine.
Ross: Susan, go deep.
Susan: What is, honey?
Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Susan: What's it look like?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Carol, Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Susan: Thanks.
Susan: He started it!
Susan: Yes.
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
Susan: What do you see?
Susan: Oh, look at that.
Susan: What do you see? What do you see?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Susan: You did!
Susan: No, you don't.
Susan: I got it.
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Ross: (to Susan) Thanks a lot.
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan: No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.
Susan: Like lovers.
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha, ha.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Susan: Uh huh.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
SUSAN: Hey.
Susan: This should be fun.
SUSAN: What?
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)
Susan and Ross: (even louder) Help!
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
SUSAN: How you doin'?
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Susan: Carol, not me.
SUSAN: The other us.
SUSAN: [clears her throat]
SUSAN: You wanna dance?
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
Susan: (to Ross) See what you did.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross and Susan are trying to get out.]
CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.
Susan: Your son.
Susan: What're you gonna do, suck the door open?
[Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.]
Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.)
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)