words in movies
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at them.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
Kristin: Well, um, for the past few years I've been working..(Ross is watching Carol and Susan, not listening to Kristin. Susan gets up, and has to go. Carol is left stranded)...which is funny because, that wasn't even my major.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Carol: Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
Carol: Ohh, yknow, Susans gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Susan: Oh, I wouldnt miss it for the world.
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Ross: (staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.
Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder)
Susan: (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
[Scene: Carol and Susan's apartment, Susan is there. Ross enters.]
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Ross: Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.
[at Ross's. Carol and Susan are picking Ben up]
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
(The teacher smiles, but her eyebrows go up. Susan and Carol pat each other affectionately.)
Susan: So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Ross: Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.
[Scene: The Hall, Ross and Susan are arguing.]
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
(Carol and Susan arrive.)
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Ross and Susan are coaching Carol.]
Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...?
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings)
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: Yknow, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
(Susan just glares back, as Rosss inappropriate joke falls flat. Meanwhile, a bubble is about to burst...)
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Susan: Oh, I got that for him.
Susan: That would be great! Also, uh, I was hoping to catch a show so if you can make any suggestions
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Susan: She.
Susan: Ross.
Susan: Hi.
Susan: Look at that.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Susan: Yeah, and we all know what a challenge that is!
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
[Scene: Carol's Hospital Room, Carol is on the bed, Ross and Susan are at her side.]
(Susan enters.)
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: Yeah, yeah, all the time.
Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing!
(Susan enters)
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Susan: I felt it!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Ross: Susan...
Susan: Oh, hello Ross!
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Ross and Susan: What? What? What?