words in movies
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Woman: Well, I dont know. Are you a masseur?
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
Chandler: Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.
Monica: Oh dad, really you dont need to
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Monica: What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Monica: How? I dont have any money.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Rachel: Well no, I dont smell anything.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? This is your fault! Youre the one that didnt move his-his appointment.
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Monica: (laughs) Yknow what? I-I dont want a big, fancy wedding.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Rachel: Y'know I dont, I dont understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin her boob.
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Phoebe: But I cant tell you.
Rachel: Since when, since when do you think I dont wear enough of this?
Monica: Youre so pathetic! Why cant you just accept it, were winning because Im better than you.
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Kate: It doesnt say that in the script.
Phoebe: I cant!!
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Monica: I dont want a ghost.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Ross, why didnt you tell me that?
Older Scientist: Im Andrew, and I didnt pay for this pear.
Monica: Come on! It wasnt that bad!
Monica: Look at me! My big concern is whats real?! (Finally realises) Oh my God. Were really sad, arent we?
Man: Umm, no, I dont think so.
Joey: I-I wasnt in that.
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Joey: No, they-they werent in the play.
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Joey: What?! I dont have 20,000!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Rachel: You dont?!
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
Chandler: Ross, dont. Ross!
Gunther: Oh, like you dont already have everything.
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Tommy: Yeah, but you didnt.
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
Chandler: Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I dont care!
Rachel: Yeah, at the lecture, I told you that last week, you said you didnt mind.
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: Yeah and he didnt really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Ross: Um, Monica and I arent supposed to play football.
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
Chandler: Yeah, and I dont have any cologne.
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Vince: You havent?
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Rachel: Im just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldnt have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Sophie: Isnt this great?!
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Chandler: Our new fridge? I dont live here anymore.
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, yknow what, you were right, you were right. We really werent great at being guys, but you know why? Because were girls.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Monica: Okay! But you cant rip it. Well, maybe a little.
Monica: You didnt know that already?
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldnt move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Chandler: (to Janice) Dont look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!
Rachel: All right, Im sorry. Im sorry I didnt tell you but you were so mad already!
Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Dont you?
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: Ohhh. Dont go.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Chandler: We dont know what could make this go away.
Rachel: Hi! Oh, Ross, dont forget, we have that doctors appointment tomorrow!
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Phoebe: Wow! You guys really dont know anything!
Joey: I-I cant handle this, you guys.
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Chandler: I dont know.
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Phoebe: I cant! I cant! Unless Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didnt buy that lamp?
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!