words in movies
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Erin: Hi. I dont mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me?
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Chandler: OH MY GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didnt tell her we were getting married, did you?
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Chandler: What do you think shes just gonna sit there quietly? You dont think shes gonna want to make a toast? You dont think shes gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why dont you guys do something?!
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Phoebe: Didnt you sleep together?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Phoebe: No spark? Didnt you sleep together?
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Joey: No! No. Dont do that, just next time make sure she really likes me.
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Chandler: Arent you just a tinsy bit curious?
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Chandler: Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Tour Guide: Oh, he wont sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there, (Points to there table) and only the people in the blue blazers sit here.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: Wow! I cant believe I actually rolled an eight.
Monica: I dont need a tissue! Im fine-d!
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Rachel: You just dont look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: She doesnt know she was fired yet, does she?
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Chandler: Wow! She looks great. Doesnt she?
Monica: You dont want to know what tonight was.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt hear that.
Rachel: Wow! I cant, I cant feel my hands.
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Chandler: We cant do this.
Joey: More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! (Rachel just looks at him.) I didnt say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me!
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Phoebe: Uh, I dont think so!
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: Didnt you spend last night at Joeys?
Rachel: Oh. (Doesnt believe it.)
Ross: I cant believe no one believes me!
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Rachel: Oh y'know what, we dont have to talk about work. We can talk about anything!
Monica: There was just one woman, wasnt there?
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
Ross: Yknow what? Fine! Get attacked! I dont even care!
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Rachel: All right, so we werent prepared!
Chandler: I cant figure out what to make Monica.
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Rachel: Well yknow, I dont want you to be cold.
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
Chip: Oh yeah, I still hang with Simmons and Zana, y'know. I see Spindler a lot. Devane, Kelly, and I run into Goldie from time to time. Steve Brown, Zuchoff, McGwire, J.T., Breadsly.
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Monica: Isnt that mine?
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Chandler: I dont know.
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Monica: Dont worry about it.
Woman: Someone was in the lady's room, I couldnt wait. I left the lid up for ya though.
Rachel: Ross, my father doesnt hate you.
Elizabeth: Uhh, I cant.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
Joey: Dude, I dont know.
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: Well, dont get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
Ross: I dont know. A month?
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)