words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Rachel: What is that noise?
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Rachel: Okay, well, we won that one.
Monica: That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch.
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Rachel: Oooohh thats interesting.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Chinadolor Bong, come on, we steal that TV Guide every week!
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but its wrong. Youre married.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Ross: I can't believe that didn't work!
Chandler: Ross, that was 16 years ago!
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
Rachel: Oh, Chandler that is so nice.
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Monica: Is that some kind of boat talk?
Joey: You a little sad about that sweetheart?
Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
Ross: Um uh Were-were just having this baby together but uh, uh thats all.
Joey: Things that burn.
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Chandler: You kissed her that night too?
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Rachel: Well thats his last name.
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ok. What time is that.
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
Ross: That is why!
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Mike's father: How's that?
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
Chandler: Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... (speaking lower to Monica) what happens to cranberry sauce?
Rachel: Howhow did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! (She hits Chandler again.)
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Mrs. Green: Oh youre gonna do that ten times a day?
Rachel: What, what, what, no, I don't wanna do that.
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Danny: Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Joey: (almost crying) That was ME!
Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Monica: About that? Erm...I'm going to change.
Kathy's Co-Star: Oh, yeah! Ooh, thats nice. (They start making out harder.)
Chandler: Well that puts me in a difficult position.
Joey: I can scratch that right off.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Joey: Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping that guy from your old job called again.
Amanda: I am so glad that you could come over tonight.
Chandler: That really was an incredible wedding.
Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Rachel: Thats it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: Why would you say that?
Erica: Oh yeah, let's do that!
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Rachel: Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Monica: How's that now?
Kate: I think my characters gonna need a little bit more of reason than that.
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Chandler: That is the exact same thing.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Phoebe: How could you possibly think that?
Rachel: Why didn�t I get that message?
Rachel: Oh stop that!
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
RACH: Oh, look at me, look at me. Oh, I'm on a date with a really great guy, all I can think about is Ross and his cat and his... Julie. I just want to get over him. gosh, why can't I do that?
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Joey: That I can do.
Hilda: Thats right.
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
(Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women wont see the face she pulls, and sits down.)
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.