words in movies
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.
Chandler: Because youre the only one that can be fair.
Ross: Yeah, but Im your brother. Were family. Thats the most important thing in the world.
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Thats right, he can have his job back. Im glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Joey: Im not answering that.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Rachel: Well, yeah! Im still pursuing that.
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Peter: Were not throwing it away! I built that canoe! (starts to leave as Tony chases after him)
Rachel: I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Ross: (whines "No.") Thats not true!
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Cecilia: Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there.
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Tag: No, you didn't. The only thing that freaked me out was you saying that nothing could ever happen between us.
Ross: (points) Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had-
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Chandler: Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union!
Phoebe: Ohh! (She moves.) Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today.
Monica: Well if-if thats what it is, then its-its crazy.
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Ross: So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Rachel: How many ways are there to do that?
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Monica: No, no, no, thats Dina.
Rachel: ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
Ross: Thats right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film that Batman film he was in.
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Rachel: No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Supervisor: (walking by and overhearing that) (to the rest of the staff) The new girls good.
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Chandler: Maybe thats because soy-burgers suck!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Chandler: But other than that... wholesome, wholesome building.
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!
Chandler: Why? Okay? Why? Wh-wh-why did that have to happen?
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Phoebe: And! Yknow what Jake says? That womens underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Chandler: Oh actually, Id rather you Yeah, go ahead. Were gonna have to burn that room down anyway.
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Rachel: Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean thats a classic, whats so great about The Shining?
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Joey: Yeah, thats sad. Mashuga nut?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Joey: Wow! That was good. That was...(points to his pocket) Tweezers?
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.