words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: Yeah, actually thats my roommates.
Student: Ooh, dude. Thats not gonna happen.
Rachel: Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Rachel: Oh my God. And that works?!
Rachel: (looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Monica: Chandler, why would you do that?
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Rachel: I am not gonna answer that!
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
Rachel: How do you do that?
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Rachel: Well dont you have that big date tonight?
Joey: Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that thats exactly it. Youre right. Yeah.
Rachel: Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, thats him! Thats him! Thats Cujo! Thats Cujo!
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Monica: You don't know that.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Joey: Dude, two times that happened!
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Rachel: You heard them say that?
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
Phoebe: Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani!
Ross: (interrupting him) YeahNo-but-but-but-but! Were just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, thats not scary right?
Ross: What is that?
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Monica: Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry.
Ross: I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that?
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Joey: Oh, that smells good!
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Monica: That was the adoption agency...
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Rachel: I mean you definitely should do that.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Joey: No, but its okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.
Monica: That would be a good idea.
Monica: I don't know about that.
Rachel: But I thought that ring stood for Caprices undying love for her brother.
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Ross: Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Rachel: (embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
Woman: We were surprise that we werent invited.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr� should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.
Chandler: You still want that baby?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Rachel: Oh, no, no. That is a doll.
MONICA: Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.
Rachel: Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?
Rachel: Ow, that had to hurt!
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Melissa: Well, weve been flirting back and forth, but I was hoping that tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
Monica: That’s not even a word!
Rachel: Let me see that. (Monica shows her) Oh, yeah.
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that.
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
Rachel: My boss, Joanna? Wow, that mustve been awkward.
Monica: We can't afford that.
Rachel: Ewww, is that what that is?
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Chandler: A little late for that.
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
Ross: Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. Thats-thats where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Rachel: Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but its wrong. Youre married.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Pizza Guy: Yeah, that sounds about right.