words in movies
Monica: How is that gonna happen?
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.
Ross: Look, she loved her job here. And let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it. Isn't that true?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: You can really arrange that?
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Phoebe-Estelle: Don’t take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic?
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Rachel: Oh, well, she’s asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn’t that great?
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off.
Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing.
Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back...
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Cecilia: Who told you that?
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Monica: What is that?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
The Porsche Owner: Hey! Thats my car.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, firemen are there to handle the bonfire that got out of control.]
Ross: How did you know about that?!
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Joey: You know what you shouldve done, you should have told yourself that little story.
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
Ross: Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing.
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Monica: (overhearing that) Why don't you just go out with her!
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Ben: (laughs) Thats a good one.
Monica: That is true.
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Rachel: Oh that.
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Ben: Dont do that.
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Phoebe: No look, I-Im sure that people know you exist!
Monica: Honey? Is that something youre making up?
Rachel: That is the most ridiculous...
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
ROSS: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Chandler: Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
Phoebe: I did, but that was really fun.
Rachel: Ohh thats great!
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Cecilia: Oh that was a real person?!
Richard: That might be fun. (Richard and Lisa sit down.)
Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you? (He walks out)
Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
Chandler: Thats me! Come on!
Chandler: Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
RACHEL: No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.
Joey: Wow! Sure! Thats great!
Joey: Thats right.
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Rachel: Yeah! (Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up) (Josh leaves) I am soo gonna marry that guy. (looking in her wallet) Ohhh!
Kristen: You look strong, why dont I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!