words in movies
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Rachel: Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Rachel: That is not a problem.
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Chandler: Whos that?
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Phoebe: (laughs) Yeah, Im sure that happened.
Phoebe: Okay! I justI didnt know that you are a lesbian. (Joey smiles and nods lewdly.)
Rachel: Im not saying that Im a lesbian! Im just saying that this happened!
Ross: Thats right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film that Batman film he was in.
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Monica: Oh thats too bad. Its true, but too bad.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh, thats great!
Rachel: (changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Melissa: I dont know. I dont remember a lot of things that never happened.
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Monica: You just carry that around?
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Melissa: Aww, look whos being suddenly shy. You cant tell me you dont feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)
Rachel: Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Chandler: (yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!
Rachel: Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain!
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
Monica: You really think thatll work?
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Monica: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?
GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier.
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Rachel: Thats right!
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Monica: Was it really that good?
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
CHANDLER: Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Janine: Oh that would be great!
Kim: Thats not true?
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Ross: Why did you do that?
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Joey: I love that saying!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Rachel: Thats right!
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Monica: Thats a good idea.