words in movies
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Phoebe: Y'know what that means?
Joey: That youre actually 50?
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Rachel: That is so cool.
Ross: Thats too bad.
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
Ross: Yeah? What about ah, that bike messenger you hit?
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Ross: Yeah, either that, or he has a really big cat.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thats my Dad, thats Frank! Yeah! Im sorry Im getting all flingy.
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel: Ohhhh, sorry I missed that.
Rachel: I mean you definitely should do that.
Rachel: Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head!
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
Rachel: Aww Pheebs, that sucks!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, dont Aww Pheebs, that sucks! me yet. (she starts to leave)
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, some people call that breaking and entering.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Rachel: That was her idea, I just gave her a nudge.
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Ross: I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss!
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Monica: Thats that weird voice again.
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Ross: Oh really! Why is that?
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Ticket Agent: Oh Im afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Chandler: Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Tag: Thats kinda sad.
Mr. Zelner: You wrote that you have a cute touchie?
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joshua: Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually.
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Joey: What is Rock 'n' Roll about that?
(Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.)
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Ross: Aww, Pheeb, come on isnt there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
Rachel: Where did you get that?
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Monica: Yes, is that okay?
Ross: Thats right.
Pete: Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you .
Ross: Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! (Exits.)
Phoebe: No, I do not hear that.
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
Pete: (turns off the TV) Youre taking this all wrong. Because, if I didnt leave you that tip, you wouldnt of come down here, we wouldnt be having this argument, and there wouldnt be this ah, heat between us.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
Monica: Joey, that papers like a year old!
Chandler: Well, we dont want that.
Monica: Outgoing! Did that say outgoing?! Not, outgoing!!!
Rachel: No that could kill her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Phoebe: (gasps) (whispering) Oh my God! Thats David!
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Chandler: Thats what Monica said.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Chandler: All right, Ill pick that one. (Points.)
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Monica: How crazy that wed run into you!
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
Chandler: Oh you knew that. Good!
Phoebe: Thats really beautiful. What does it mean?
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
[Scene: Chandler's Office, later that day, Nina is in his office.]
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Rachel: Oh, heres that trench-coat that you wanted.
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Monica: Okay that does sound like fun.
Chandler: Thats correct.
Judge: That wont be necessary.
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Monica: I said that you had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt.
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully)
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Rachel: Okay Ross thats fine, but can you please stand near my head?
Chandler: See that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Rachel: A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?!