words in movies
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall!
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
(Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Chandler: And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality!
(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Chandler: (caresses the wall with his finger) Bye!
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
Rachel: Coming! Try under the bed, try under the bed!
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Rachel: There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore)
Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
(Ross leaves the room)
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
(They leave and Rachel locks the door.)
Rachel: (Joey walks to the door) Although...
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...]
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Ross: Uh, actually I think she went to the salon.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
(Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end)
(Chandler enters from the bathroom)
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Chandler: What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.
[Scene: Boarding the plane.]
Ross: Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Mike: Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material...
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
Joey: I'm gonna get the lasagna.
Ross: Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...
Ross: I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that?
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
[Scene: Mike's apartment. Phoebe's there and the phone rings.]
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Monica's carrying the laundry hamper to their coffee table.]
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Monica: And the eye!
[Scene: Ross's apartment.Someone's knocking on the door. Ross rushes to the door and it's Rachel with Emma.]
Rachel: Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal.
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Precious: I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now?
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again)
(Mike enters the apartment.)
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
Monica: Oh, well, I can move... (she moves back and forth the shower curtain rail, opening and closing the shower curtain with her hair as she goes)
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Chandler: (Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant.
THE END
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Gunther: ...and after youve delivered the drinks, you take the empty tray....
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Rachel: (opening the door) Hi Daddy.
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Rachel: Oh my God! The millionaires here!
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Rachel: Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work...
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Ross: Oh yeah, how about you and the, (mimics her fake cry) "Im sorry!"
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Joey: Bob? Who the hell's Bob?
Ross: (reading the newspaper) Hey, heres a question; where did you guys get the finest oak East of the Mississippi?
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
CHANDLER: (pause) Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the time we'd finished with all the dirty talk, it was kinda late... and we were both kind of exhausted, so uh...
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
David: ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips.
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Chandler: (walks up to the Maitre d') Excuse me...
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Mona: Hey its Mona! From the wedding.
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Frank: I know a guy whos the 18th.
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Passenger #1: Yeah! The left Philange!
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Rachel: Then what's with all the bananas?
Ross: (pretend fishing in the living room) Ohh, Gellers got one hooked! Ohh! Looks like a big one! Yeah, ohh! Ohh! (Swinging the rod back and forth) Its the classic struggle between man and(swings the rod and knocks over a lamp.) Someone knocked over a lamp.
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go all right with the annulment?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course Im stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, Ive got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Monica: (entering) I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes!
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence?
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is laying on his recliner, depressed, and the dog is laying on the footrest.]
Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump.
Chandler: Oh, sure, she was probably up all night, excited about the party she knows is happening.
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Phoebe: Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes.
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
PHOEBE: [sees Marcel at the window] Oh my God.
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
Joey: No, no, no! (Starts looking around the room, terrified) Don't drop by, don't drop by!
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
Monica: A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)