words in movies
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Ross: Whats up with the greed Joe?
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Rachel: Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya!
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
(Rachel calmly wipes the spittle off her face.)
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Chandler: Hey! Honey, can I ask you a question about the Valentines Day gifts?
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Receptionist: Were actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so were not looking for applicants right now.
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Receptionist: We already got the results back on that on, and theyre not good. (Joey beats a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: Okay, are you aware unagi (does the finger thing) is an eel?
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
(Chandler leaves dejectedly. When the door closes Rachel and Phoebe jump out from behind the curtains and scream )
Rachel: Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. (She does the finger thing.)
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
[Cut to the living room, Chandler is entering as Monica finishes wrapping her present for him on the kitchen table.]
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Monica: We have got to wash that! (Referring to the sock bunny.)
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)
(The oven dings.)
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
Joey's Look-A-Like: Hey Mon! Hey Chann! (He goes to the fridge) Just gettin a soda! (Does so.)
Monica: Who the hell are you?!
Joey: (entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Chandler: Who the hell is Carl?!
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Monica: The only problem!
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
[Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
The Doctor: (seeing theyre not identical) But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
The Doctor: But, youre not identical twins.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
Monica: Hey! Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals. Tonight, No. 3, macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs.
Chandler: Oh, the mixed tape.
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
Monica: The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
[Scene: A womens self-defense class, the instructor is just finishing a class.]
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
The Instructor: Thanks.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
The Instructor: Who? Me the attacker?
The Instructor: Why?
The Instructor: What?!
The Instructor: Let me get this straight man, you attacked your ex-wife?!
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
(Monica breaks the hug and starts for the bedroom.)
Monica: I am!! (Enter her room and closes the door behind her.)
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Joey: Because! Youre mean on the boat!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
MNCA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Rachel: Okay that is the one we already have!
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Rachel: Come on, just answer the question!
Rachel: So just bring it back downstairs, whats the problem?
MONICA: Yes, I will start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
Phoebe: No Im not okay. The only guy Ive ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never I may never see him again. (Crying.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.]
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
[The next one is from Episode 304: The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel, Joey is on Amazing Discoveries.]
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Joey: (looking at the ball the dog brought back) Did I just throw this?
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Joey: I left them at the park.
Monica: What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon!
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Ross: Phoebe hes right, that is the rule.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
[Scene: The New York City Children's fund hallway.]
Chandler: (sees another rack) Well, whats the deal with these? These-these look nice.
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Phoebe: Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Chandler: So uh, man, are you gonna go to the play with me tonight?
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
(He starts chasing her around Rachel a couple of times before she runs into the living room and he tackles her on the couch where he starts tickling her.)
Monica: (opening the door) Hi Pheebs, whats up? (She enters.)
Monica: Heyyy!! You got the door open!! (Giggles.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
(Joey and Chandler both run to shut off the tape.)
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Phoebe: Yeah, I do. Whats the matter?
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: You walked around all night in the city by yourself?
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)