words in movies
Monica: So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Staying out of the way.
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
The Woman: Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
The Woman: It-its really heavy.
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
The Woman: I-I am Kristen.
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Kristen: (To Chandler) Excuse me? (Chandler does the shy thing again.)
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
(Monica enters from the dressing room wearing her gown.)
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
The Woman: Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, Id cry.
The Woman: Im Megan Bailey.
Megan: Oh, thanks for the tip.
Rachel: I do the same thing.
Megan: We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
Monica: The best man? Wow!
Monica: Oh, my fiancee wants the Swing Kings.
Megan: Oh, youre so lucky. My fiancee wants the heavy metal band Carcass.
The Woman: I own this store.
Rachel: So, does this (The dress) come in another color or (The store owner walks away.)
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Kristen: You look strong, why dont I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
(A worker comes to open the door and the horde starts to press forward.)
(The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
[Time lapse, inside the store, Monica is frantically looking for her dress.]
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Monica: Maybe I do! Im pretty feisty! (She blows the signal.)
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Phoebe: Did you find the dress?
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She grabs Rachels hand and drags her towards Monica.) Excuse me! Excuse me! (Shes knocking women and veils out of the way as she moves.)
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Monica: (handing Phoebe the dress) Go! Go! Go!
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Ross: Yeah in fact, Im gonna go call her right now. And Ill make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Chandler: Really? Right across the street?
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse from the earlier scene.]
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Ross: Maybe Ill take her to that new French restaurant down the street
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Ross: So lets decide on the spending limit
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
(There are three short whistle blasts from the bathroom.)
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Just here (Runs his fingers down the bridge of his nose) and there (Runs his fingers across his forehead).
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Monica: Well umm, we were just talking about the yknow, the Swing Kings and just wondering whether yknow, they were the right way to go.
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
Phoebe: Yeah but the Swing Kings? Yknow they suck so much that people actually die at their concertsThey just stop living.
Rachel: Well, what is the other reason?
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Monica: (from the bedroom) Dont come in here!
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Monica: Oh because it doesnt really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Monica: Im sorry. Im sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. (She heads for the bedroom.)
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things Im feeling. Well.... (picks up her coat)
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
PHOE: [seeing Ross kissing Julie outside the window] Ooh, oh, Rachel, don't look.
Chip: The what?
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Phoebe: We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
Chip: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Rachel: Joey, just ignore the boats all right? Were not finished with the lesson yet.
Ross: All right. (reading the label) Candy and Cookie?
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is about to begin.]
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
Missy: Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours!
Phoebe: And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
FBOB: So the light went out in my refrigerator...
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
Sarah: Well, I kinda wanted to sell the cookies. The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Spacecamp, and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
[cut to the girls huddle]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...
Rachel: Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Salesman: And?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Strange man: (he bounds into the house) I knew you'd be here!
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
Rachel: The burping clogs?
Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
MRS. GREENE: ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Ross: What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Joey: In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still very sick and is entering the living room from the bathroom wearing a robe. Chandler is reading a magazine.]
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Blackjack Dealer: Changing one hundred! (Gives him the change.) Good luck sir.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.