words in movies
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Phoebe: So how was the honeymoon?
Monica: Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on the way back.
Phoebe: That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.
Chandler: Theyre terrific, and they live right here in the city.
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
{Transcribers Note: Tradition was broken here as there were no commercials immediately after the opening credits, just more show.}
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
Ross: So, how was the honeymoon?
Monica: Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Ross: The lie you just told.
Ross: Theres the one!
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Chandler: Here you go. (Shows her the number again.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Joey: (confused) Are we watchin the tape or not?!
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Chandler: So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed invitation down onto the table.)
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Monica: You used the Europe story!
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Rachel: So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Rachel: Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend.
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
Joey: well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Mrs. Waltham: (Answering the phone.) Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Mr. Treeger:: Thank you, listen, thanks a lot Tribbiani, (checks watch). Oh my God, look at the time, I gotta catch the bus to the ball.
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Monica: Yeah, theres one right under the cabinet.
Kim: Oh that's great! You are the best!
JOEY: Well, the part's mine if I want it.
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
(Again the others just look at her, silent, puzzled.)
Monica: That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (To the guys) Hey!
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
The A.D: The one with "Heston" on it.
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Steve: Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
The Smoking Woman: I-I'm sorry! Sorry.
Rachel: Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)
The Casting Director: Hmm, noodle soup.
The Casting Director: All right, let's try one.
[cut to later, Monicas team has the ball.]
[Scene: Joey's at the game show "Pyramid" with host Donny Osmond.]
Phoebe: God! Ooh! What is that smell? Its coming from the bathroom. Ooh! (She goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)
Chandler: Great job with the cups, Pheebs!
Monica: That's the surprise!
Phoebe: What happened to the intimate dinner party?
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Ross: What the hell was that?!
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
Joey: Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.
Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for another interview.]
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Chandler: Well shes, shes the kinda girlJoey was unconscious.
Phoebe: Wait, Rach! Where's the other one?
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Monica: Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
(They both walk off the court.)
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
[Cut to Chandler and Monica on the couch.]
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Phoebe: Yeah! You're the best!
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Caitlin: The guy with the gas?!
Monica: Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
Chandler: That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book?
JOEY: It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
Monica: What about these? These look the same?
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)