words in movies
MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying?
MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)
MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
CHANDLER: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
TERRY: You don't clean the cappuccino machine?
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
PHOEBE: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
CHANDLER: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi!
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk.
CHANDLER: Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord.
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
DOCTOR: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
PHOEBE: Oh. Mine does. (singing) Stephanie knows all the chords. (makes a face)
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
CHANDLER: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?
CHANDLER: All right, call it in the air.
(on the sidewalk outside Central Perk)
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
ROSS: Yeah. Hey, remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
ROSS: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
STEPHANIE: Yeah. From the top?
PHOEBE: Ok, there is no top. That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Um, why don't you just follow me?
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
JOEY: Ah, the stalker.
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Ross: I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
(The old lady at Phoebe's machine wins. Phoebe turns around in shock.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Monica is holding the wrapping paper from one of Rachel's gifts.]
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Ross: Wait a minute! How-how the hell did you beat us here?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
(She walks out and slams the door.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, just updating the phonebook.
[Chandler closes up the laptop computer screen.]
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
[Cut to the rest of the gang sitting low on the couch and craning their necks to watch the interview.]
[Monica turns on the radio.]
Director: Lose the robe.
[Scene: City street. The whole gang is walking up to the movie set.]
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Phoebe: Yeah. But I also believed her (points to the phone) when she said I was next.
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Eric: Oh my God, youre the sister!
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
(She picks up the box and the bottom falls out, spilling all of the pictures onto Monica's neat little piles.)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Chandler: What the fu(beep)ck are you doing?!
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "its," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it.
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
ALL: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
MNCA: Especially the after taste, you know, I'll tell ya, that'll last ya till Christmas.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Ross: Well, there is an Arbys in the shape of a tee-pee.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
ROSS: How'd the callback go?
Chandler: (To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Ross: Well, you can't know where I am all the time. Look, this marriage is never gonna work if you don't trust me.
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
Monica: Anybody lose this? (Holds up the chip and the woman next to her shakes her head no.)
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Phoebe: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. (she gives the check and pulls it back again) No... Oh God... Oh!
The Producer: (checking his watch) Lets get you into wardrobe for a fitting.
Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
CHANDLER: No, no, this is the first time.