words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
Rachel: Bathroom's up there.
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.]
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
MR. TREEGER: There she is. And over there, that's the other one. This is Mr. Buddy Boyle, Mr. Heckles' attorney. He'd like to talk to you.
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Rachel: There he is!
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
Rachel: Thank you. (Gets up) Now are you sure? Because once I make a copy, theres no turning back.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Chandler: There we go little fella.
Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Rachel: Shoot, shoot, this is never gonna work! He's right there!
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay. There should be Gold Man!
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Chandler: Hi there!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Oh, stop that! Dont kid about that! (Gasps) Will all the stars be there?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Ross: There you go. Thank you!
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
Rachel: I cant! Its too late! Terry already hired that girl over there. (points to her) Look at her, shes even got waitress experience. Last night she was teaching everybody how to make napkin.... (starts to cry) swans.
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
CHANDLER: Oh, sure, they love us over there.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Caitlin: Oh, is there a problem?
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Ross: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Rachel: Well, there you go!
Phoebe: Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Ross: Oh no-no-no, Im there.