words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
(There is a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Chandler: Okay, well it this bed isnt new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there, yelling at Joey.]
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Jester: Hey! You cant go back there!
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive been there my friend.
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Joey: Correct! Theres a possible backwards bonus!
CHANDLER: Oh it's uh, over there on the table.
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Phoebe: Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Rachel: Alright! Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard.
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Ross: (entering) Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway.
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Frank: Well, okay, so whats nowgo get, go get the eggs, put em in there.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Monica: Right there! That was so fake!
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now?
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: (in a fake voice) Hi there.
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
ROSS: Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there. Here's to my little sister--
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Isabella: Arent you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Conan: When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be; there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a scene.
Ross: Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there?
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebes singing, Vince is also there.]
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no time!
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Chandler: Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...)
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Monica: I told you not to go down there!
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
MNCA: [reading the paper] There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?
Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
The Museum Official: (on machine) I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Ross: Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone when the ball drops?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Wow! I didnt know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)