words in movies
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Monica: They're still in my coat.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Rachel: Because they're people.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?