words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
(They both go out into the hall.)
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
(They separate.)
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
(They go up to the counter.)
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Rachel: They do!
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
(They both sit down.)
Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together.
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
Fat Joey: Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. (They kiss.) Okay.
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
(They both look at Phoebe.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
(They walk away.)
Phoebe: But theyre not!
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
(They both go over to light the candles.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Phoebe: Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)
(They both exit.)
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Rachel: No! Come on! Dont make me go long. Use me. They never cover me.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
(They kiss and she starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
Phoebe: Oh! (They all look.) Wow!
Will: Yeah! (They high-five.)
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Monica: Theyre mine!
RACHEL: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
Phoebe: Wow! Theyre beautiful!
Monica: (almost crying) They hurt so much!
Stu: When theyre hookers.
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
(They enter.)
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Monica: Okay! (They high-five and he walks out.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
Joey: Yeah! And-and things arent as smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
(They go onto the set.)
Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Rachel: Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)
(They flip through the pages to another picture.)
[Cut to Joey and Janines, theyre entering.]
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)