words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Parker: What are they like? Ive never had one.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
(They both sit down and Rachel pours them both some coffee. Theyre acting like nothings happened and everyone is just staring at them.)
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
Rachel: Ohh, Lilies. Joey, theyre my favorite. Thank you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
(They all rush toward Rachel, who panics and runs away. She runs out of the park and up along the fence, she then comes back into the park and runs past Monica, as she gets to Monica, she throws the ball at Monica, and it hits her in the eye.)
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Chandler: Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are.
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
ERICA: Oh Hans. [They kiss]
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
(They both jump up and wipe off their butts.)
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Robert: Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I dont think I can wear these, theyre so tight, I feel like Im on display. Im sorry.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Rachel: No! They are mine!
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
Rachel: Oh thats all right! Yknow, I ended up having a really good time. Yknow, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
(They go to hug but Ross' umbrella opens. He sits, defeated again.)
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Ross: No, come on dont start. (they start kissing again) Ouch!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Joey: (speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say?
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Rachel: Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Rachel: Yeah, they were very y'know wrestley. But, I guess that's normal?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Chandler: Oh yeah, thats very nice. Plus, yknow they were free and theyre too small.
Rachel: I dont know why they didnt just tell us.
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
Monica: I guess theyre back from their date.
Rachel: Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
(She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.)
(They look at each other and smile for a while.)
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Ross: Hmm. (They head off to the gift shop.)
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play!
[Time lapse. They are now in Monica's bedroom, on the bed.]
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Rachel: So does it really hurt as bad as they say?
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they dont get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)