words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
PHOE: You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. [they hug]
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
(They throw the ball back and forth once.)
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
(They start thinking.)
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Kim: No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. (They walk away.)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Chandler: (looks at what she's holding and shies away) Oh dear God, they gave us glasses!
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
(They both exit.)
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
(They storm out into the street.)
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) Theyll never understand!
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
(They storm out into the street.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Phoebe: Thats all right, thats well, I figured.... (they start to leave as Joey enters.)
(They pause to think about it.)
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
ROSS: Look at that, they won't even turn their heads.
Rachel: Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
(They hug.)
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
(They start playing.)
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
(They hug.)
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
(They both run and hug theyre respective partners.)
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
(They break the embrace.)
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Ross: What do you mean, theyre not moving in? They-theyre still moving in right?
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
(They all laugh.)
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
(They do so and they take off their clothes.)
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)