words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Lauren: Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.
[Scene: Outside. They are a bunch of people arranging chairs, shoveling snow and making other preparations.]
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
(They both walk off the court.)
Chandler: Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
(They hug.)
(They hug.)
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
(They all turn and glare at Ross.)
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
(They shake hands.)
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
(Zack comes out of the bathroom. They all sit down at the table.)
(They go inside.)
[They start kissing.]
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
(They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did in fact get married.)
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
(They all walk over to get a slice.)
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
(They all get up to leave.)
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
(They all start out.)
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
(They do it again.)
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.
Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.
Monica: Look at you! Come here! (They hug.) Feel better?
CHANDLER: Oh, sure, they love us over there.
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
[Reset, theyre about to start the scene when Katie suddenly jumps up startling Jennifer.]
Rachel: All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
(They both sit down.)
(they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand)
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Phoebe: Oh, they love your casserole.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
PHOE: You're right, you're right. Ah, you are so yumm. [they hug]
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
(They throw the ball back and forth once.)
(They follow him and meet him in the hall coming out of his apartment carrying a sweater.)
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
(They start thinking.)
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Kim: No-no-no, we'll move you just stay right there. (They walk away.)
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)
(As the camera passes by, they start to dance really rigid, but the camera is facing the other way.)
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Chandler: (looks at what she's holding and shies away) Oh dear God, they gave us glasses!
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Chandler: Thanks. (They hug.)
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
(They both bounce back into the bathroom.)
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
(They both exit.)
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank you. (Exits)
[They look over at Russ and Ross.]