words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
Joey: Why would they take away our keys?
DR. HORTON: No, no, they only said you.
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
[Scene: The Porsche, they have pulled over and are awaiting the cop to come talk to them.]
(they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it)
(They both laugh.)
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
(They frantically start making out.)
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
(They all start laughing.)
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
(They walk onto the dance floor and Chandler slips and almost falls.)
(They enter.)
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Monica: Theyre my pants!
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
(They both go out into the hall.)
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
(They separate.)
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
(They go up to the counter.)
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Rachel: They do!
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
(They both sit down.)
Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together.
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
Fat Joey: Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. (They kiss.) Okay.
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
(They both look at Phoebe.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
(They walk away.)
Phoebe: But theyre not!
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
(They both go over to light the candles.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Phoebe: Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)
(They both exit.)
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Rachel: No! Come on! Dont make me go long. Use me. They never cover me.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
(They kiss and she starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.