words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)
Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Joey: They were in his office.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
(They hug.)
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
Leslie: I played Smelly Cat for the people at my old ad agency, they went nuts.
(They all go into the hallway.)
Parker: No, they look too weird.
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
(They sit back)
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Monica: Why did they get divorced?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.
(Joey and Ross pause while they picture the event.)
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Chandler: I totally understand. (They both laugh.) Can I just see your bra?
(They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping)
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, they are entering to check out the newly refurbished apartment.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personalityWell, theyre all back! Yknow? And shes picked up like nine new ones!
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
Amy: wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
<they hug and kiss on check>
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Rachel: and then they came back from smoking and they had made all of the decisions without me!
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
(They enter.)
(They go off to their bedrooms)
RACH: Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... y'know, throw 'em under a bus or something?
(They kiss again.)
(They hug and then kiss one more time.)
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
(They run off in search of a bed.)
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Chandler: Okay. (They start kissing.)
(They start making out again.)
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
(They hug.)
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.