words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
RACH: Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... y'know, throw 'em under a bus or something?
(They kiss again.)
(They hug and then kiss one more time.)
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
(They run off in search of a bed.)
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Chandler: Okay. (They start kissing.)
(They start making out again.)
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Rachel: All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
(They hug.)
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.)
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Monica: I know! (They high-five.)
(They both rejoice; Chandler is totally confused.)
(They all stare, bemused.)
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Rachel: Bye honey. (They hug)
Chandler: I know that too. (They kiss)
FBOB: I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. [they hug]
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Yeah, apparently theyre turning it into some kinda coffee place.
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Chandler: no they don't
(They hug, Scene fades to black)
(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Monica: Good night! (They go into their respective apartments.)
Joey: Heyyy. (They all try and hide their invitations.)
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]
Rachel: Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Monica: (lustily) Lets do it! (She kisses him and they fall back onto the bed.)
Ross: Pivot! (They pivot) Pivot! (They pivot) Okay, pivot! Piv-at! (He starts laughing.)
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
The Stripper: Wow, I didnt know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.
Monica: Oh... How are they?
The Cooking Teacher: Were all beginners here. Nobody knows what theyre doing.
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Monica: Yes! Now, theyre a little more than I normally spend on boots or rent (Shows him the receipt.)
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
ROSS: (pause) That's okay.� We'll talk about (pause) something else.� (They pause.� They drink.)
CHANDLER: See what I mean . . . (They kiss.)
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
Ross: Well youre gonna be a wonderful grandma. (They hug.)
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
(They assume the starting position.)
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
Chandler: Eh! (They start making out again)
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
(They all open their envelopes.)
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
Chandler: Honey I... I love your breasts the way they are!
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug)
Joey: Why are they doing this?
Chandler: Course there, they just call it food.
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}