words in movies
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
(He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.)
(They kiss.)
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
(They walk over to the door.)
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
(They hug.)
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
(Suddenly, they hear the birds.)
(They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.)
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before.
Monica: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
(They kiss again.)
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Chandler: If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night.
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Monica: Okay. (They approach the craps table.)
Monica: Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys)
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Monica: Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they dont give out fake names.
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
CHANDLER: Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there.
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
Don: And youre still married to him? (They both laugh, and Chandler tries to but fails.)
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
(they exchange Hugsy's).
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, You dont have insurance here, so stop calling us.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Phoebe: WellButNow, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles yknow before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Ross: Maybe its uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Chandler: And that became ‘they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
(They both look at each other, then Phoebe gets an idea.)
[Scene: Central Perk, scene continued from earlier. They guys are sitting there like the Three Monkeys.]
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Phoebe: A real man wouldnt just run to the hospital! (They dont stop.) No! What would, what would Krog do? (They ignore her and Phoebe is left alone.)
(They start to look around seeing that the living room is undamaged.)
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
[they all run off after the guy]
Phoebe: Ooh, is that spelled with a C or a K? Oh my God! It doesnt matter; theyre both great!
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)