words in movies
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
WRITER: Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed.
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
DELIVERY GUY: Right. Could you sign this?
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
RACHEL: But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had.
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
CHANDLER: So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
DR HORTON: Hard day huh? First the medical award, this.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
RICHARD: Let's never speak of this.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Joey: (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
Rachel: Oh! Tommy, this is Ross. Ross, Tommy.
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Monica: Okay, this one I like!
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
[cut to another clip, this one is from The One With The Prom Video]
Chandler: I can't believe you did this. (Walks toward the door)
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Susan: I've literally never been this happy.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Chandler: So you're really okay with this?
Rachel: All right, now dont judge me. I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. Im ripping into this swan.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Kathy: Wow! You are really good at this.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma)
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Luisa: You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
Joey: Hey, do we do this too much?
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Larry: You look beautiful this evening.
PHOEBE: What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?
Chandler: I hate this thing!
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
Kathy: I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch.
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: (looking around) Did I go to this school?
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Chandler: Oh, this is soo bad. (doesnt see Mary-Angela)
Ross: I can't believe Chandler is missing this!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Phoebe: That's odd, 'cause this dog's been living here for the past 3 days
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Joey: (excited) Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room)
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Marc: No nonsense! Were all in this together.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Stage Director: This will be your phone.
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Chandler: (pointing out a gift) OK, this one right here is from me.
Chandler: This took you all day?!
Monica: This is disgusting!
Rachel: I'm not reading this!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
Monica: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
Frank: I dont know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I dont know.
Joey: Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Bob: Umm, Ginger's gonna take over this corner.
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.