words in movies
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Courtney: Thisll be five/ten takes.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
Ross: Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
Joey: No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, well be supportive like crazy.
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
Rachel: Oh, you guys, I can't believe this. But I'll leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane.
Doug: Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Monica: Well, usually when Im this anxious, I clean!
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Rachel: What is this?
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Rachel: No-no-no! This chairs not going anywhere.
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Rachel: Excuse me! But this is a purebred, show-quality Sphinx cat!
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Ross: Look, this is just a little too familiar, okay? For like, for like six months before Carol and I spilt up, all I heard was: "My friend Susan is so smart. My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Joey: I miss this.
ROSS: This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Ross: Trying to date this woman.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Ross: Should I leave this open for you too?
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Mona: Im not sure yet. Why didnt you just tell me about all this?
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: Umm say, I-I opened this earlier (The privacy screen) but let me give you guys some privacy.
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Ross: Oh here, I think this is us. (Reading the name cards.) Yeah.
Monica: This is Phoebe.
Ross: Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: So who else was in this club?
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
RACHEL: What is this? What are we doing?
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
ROSS: This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
ROSS: I'm tellin' you. You can't do this.
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)