words in movies
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Courtney: Thisll be five/ten takes.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
Monica: Are you saying that you dont want to get with this?
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Amy: um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly)
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. This is so hard.
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Julie: Hi. Is this your first?
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
Ross: No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
Monica: Alright, well, this does not change anything. (to Chandler) Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face.
Cliff: Are all the questions this personal?
Monica: What? You freak! You wouldnt even have known about this place if it wasnt for me!
Nurse: A doctor at this hospital?
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
Monica: I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea?
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Chandler: Then, I might as well � (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, Im going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, Im going to do the whole city.
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Rachel: Oh wow, this feels weird.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Monica: Okay. Man, I have not made this many cookies since I was in the ninth grade.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Joey: This is what Ive got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Ross: Oh my god, this really hurts!!!
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings)
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
<Ross and Rachel pause and ponder this>
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Monica: Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap!
Joey: Look at this. My two best friends!
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Monica: Now see, this way you protect the plate.. and lets face it you have fun.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Spokeswoman: And the man who made all this possible... Mr. Peter Becker.
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
Joey: Im sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Phoebe: ok I can't do this.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
Ross: Y�know this ??? is incredible.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
Doug: BingWhats this?! (Grabs his hand.)
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Joey: See ya. Well, this is just us.
Mike: This is nice.
Mike: Is this cool, huh?
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Ross: Yeah, Im missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Monica: Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!