words in movies
JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
MONICA: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
CHANDLER: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
PHOEBE: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. [sees Ross's picture frame] Oh my God, where did you get this?
PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
PHOEBE: [showing her pictures] OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, sure, yeah. [gets a box with the pictures] This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation.
PHOEBE: OK, is this really my father?
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
CHANDLER: Oh, so that's what this is for.
PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh.
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .
JOEY: Well, maybe he's, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Chandler: Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. (Makes kiss noise)
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Glenda: Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and...
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
(She tries to demonstrate this unique ability, but only succeeds in choking on it.)
Ross: So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Amy: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Man: Marc Coreger, this is my wife Julie.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Gavin: Is this your first appology?
Rachel: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Joey: Hey, whats the horsepower on this thing?
Ross: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. (Points.)
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Rachel: Ohhh... (slumping in relief) Okay, you were right. You were right! This was just not worth it.
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Rachel: So can we keep this between us?
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Girl: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding.
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Ross: No-no, this is my collection of fossil samples.
Ross: Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Georgio.
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that Im thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Phoebe: Well look no further, (shows her the dead one) this ones yours! Ahhh.
WRITER: Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed.
ROSS: Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this, he's healthy, he's happy, and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan.
Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony)
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Chandler: So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
CHANDLER: Ok, so let me just get this straight. So we're uh, strictly talking about the middle?
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Rachel: Well, isnt that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Phoebe: Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
Rachel: Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?