words in movies
Ross: What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van!
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Phoebe: Wow! Okay, dude alert! And who is this guy?
Chandler: This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore!
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
Rachel: God, I am so glad you dont have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldnt even consider applying.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Monica: Havent we made this decision?
Allesandro: How long is this gonna take? Cause I got another critic to go yell at.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: How do you think this suit would look on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdales?
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Chandler: So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
Chandler: Okay, hating this.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
CHANDLER: Ok, so let me just get this straight. So we're uh, strictly talking about the middle?
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Rachel: Well, isnt that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Phoebe: Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Phoebe: Yeah, no kidding, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
David: Wa... wa... wait! We can... call them later. Can you just... just stand there f-f-for a moment? Boy! There's an old Russian expression, uhm... it goes: Schto ya ztez vigul... ui! Roughly translated that means uhm... This thing that I'm looking at: wow!
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
Rachel: Okay. Oh, uh, wait a minute, y'know what? I uh, I can't decide this. Umm, okay, just hold on a second.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
MNCA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. [Reads from paper] In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... continued on page 153...[turns it] sucking.
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Rachel: I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture!
Phoebe: Yknow what? This one is. (Eats another spoonful of pudding as Cliff sees something on TV.)
Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
MONICA: [entering] All right. Tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts.
Clerk: You need to fill out this form. (motions for the next person in line)
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Robert: Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? (spreads his legs) Is it something Im putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts?
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Cliff: Is this the same spoon that was in my cast? (Smells it.)
Chandler: Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened.
Chandler: Yknow we already went over this and I won!
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Melanie: Anyway, that's when me and my friends started this whole fruit basket business. We call ourselves 'The Three Basketeers.'
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
PHOEBE: OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily?
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Marc: Look at this! (Takes another picture) There we go!
Ross: Gimme this. (Grabs the herbalists card and leaves.)
Dr. Mitchell: Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Ross: I hate America! When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.
Charlie: Oh my God, this is so cool!
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Chandler: Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year.
Phoebe: Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky?
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Monica: This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Ross: Oh! Well then this is awkward. So what do you uh
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do.
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Ross: Jen, I know this may sound a little (makes some kind of crazy noise) But uh, would you maybe wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime, or
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Ross: You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?