words in movies
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
Phoebe Sr.: (to Phoebe) Im your mother.
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Chandler: (to Monica) (in a funny voice) Hi there. (Monica turns her head away in disgust)
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
[cut back to Joey on the beach towel]
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Bonnie: (to Rachel) Thanks a million.
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, any how, some how I got pregnant, and, and I was scared. I was stupid and sellfish, and I was 18 years old. I mean, you remember what its like to be eighteen years old?
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
Phoebe: I dont ever want to see you again!
Chandler: Nope! Because Im not your boyfriend. (to Phoebe, whos entering) Hey Pheebs, how did it go?
Phoebe: Oh, my new Mom, who-whos a big, fat abandoner! (starts to go upstairs)
Phoebe: No. Im just, I wanna, I need to be alone.
(She starts to go upstairs.)
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: Well, I wanted to be thorough. I mean this-this is clearly very, very important to you, to us! And so I wanted to read every word carefully, twice!
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Ross: (interrupting) No, Rach, no. I dont, I dont, I dont have to think about it, in fact, Ive decided, Ive decided that, that it.......does.
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Chandler: Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?!
Chandler: Weve got to do something!
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: Ooh, I have to go pack. (Gets up to do so.) It really does?
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Ross: (calming down) Yeah, I know. I mean, no, youre right. Yeah I guess Ill let it go. But you-you understand how-how hard it is to forget about this.
Joey: Sure, its hard to forget! But that doesnt mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, (to Chandler) ever talk about.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Phoebe: Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? Im kinda hungry.
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
[cut to Monica cleaning the floor in the kitchen]
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Rachel: Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Ross: well he seemed to bum hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Monica: I know (she snuggles to him)
Amanda: I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month.
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
Monica: Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, Im engaged. (Points to her ring.)
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
BIG BULLY: The guy that's about to kick your ass talks like that.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Chandler: (to the front desk clerk) Hi! Were checking out of the bridal suite.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me?
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Phoebe: (interrupting him) No listen to me! She is crazy!
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Phoebe: Oh, well, dont tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus.
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Rachel: That sounds great! Id love to live at Warrens!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
[back to Chandler and Susie]
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Steve: Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. (Points to his apartment across the hall.)
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
Chandler: Oh its always nicer to here than, "Aw crap! You again!"
Chandler: I just came over to drop off nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
Chandler: Oh, okay! (He rolls over to do that again.)
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
CHANDLER: I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
[Cut to the kitchen, Ross and Chandler are doing the dishes.]
Charlie: Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Chandler: To see her pants?
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Chandler: Then, I might as well � (grabs the cigarettes) do this (lights one, exhales). Not really sure what to do now.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!