words in movies
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, Im going to be out there spreading joy to the people. I mean, last year, I spread a little joy but not really enough. So this year, Im going to do the whole city.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
Rachel: Oh my god. Ok you guys, theres Danny. Watch. Just watch this. (He walks past the couch to the counter.) See?! Still pretending hes not interested. Ohh, hes coming over. Just pretend like we dont know him. Weve forgotten who he is.
Monica: Danny? You know Rachel? Shes nice. Shes not bad to look at, right?
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Danny: (To Monica) On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly? (To Rachel) See ya Friday. (He walks out.)
Estelle: Well, youre just going to say no again but...gay porn.
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
(The man starts to take some change out.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Rachel: (not sure what to do) Uh, it was very nice meeting you. (They continue to ignore her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)
Rachel: Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. (She leaves them to wrestle.)
Joey: (To Chandler) I didn't finish my five pages.
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Danny: so we finally get to the top of the mountain and airhead here (His sister) forgets the camera!
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Chandler: When did that happen to you?!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
Danny: Yep. (To Rachel) I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight.
Chandler: Okay, bye! (To the gang.) Oh my God!!
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Bob: Uh, Phoebe we've been getting complaints and uh, we're gonna move you to a less high-profile spot.
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
Rachel: Umm, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
Ross: I guess when you don't have so many distractions, it's easier for you to focus. Huh?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Chandler: (To Ross) I'm sorry too.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
(They both start to read ahead.)
Joey: What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
Paul: Nope! That never happened to me!
[cut to outside of Central Perk]
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
Rachel: Well, how can you be a tour guide, dont you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Chandler: (entering) Hey Phoebe! (To Rachel) Fatty!
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Monica: No, Ive had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Phoebe: Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
[Fade to black.]
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Rachel: I know, I still need to talk to you.
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I havent felt my feet in years!
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Monica: (moving over to the couch) Still smoking cigars?
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so.
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: Oh gosh, she's going to kill me.
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Dr. Leedbetter: Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Rachel: You were gonna propose to me?
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Rachel: I want me to stay too.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Phoebe: I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]