words in movies
Chandler: Im gonna miss being able to afford food.
Chandler: Yeah well, too bad were gonna have to return them.
Monica: Honey, Im not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but Im going to wear them all the time. Youll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, shes really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, yknow, to give her some advice.
Rachel: I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Rachel: Yes! Id love to! Have her come by the office.
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Ross: What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! Thats why you have kids!
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I havent felt my feet in years!
Chandler: (returning to his seat) Hey!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
(Ross runs out to get the tickets.)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Rachel: Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
Monica: Honey, we dont really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Monica: Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, Ill wear the boots. In fact, Ill go into my room right now and yknow try the outfit on.
Monica: Okay? (She starts to walk which causes her to start crying) Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! (Runs into the bedroom and mixes saying ow with laughing.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
Dina: Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Monica: Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
Bobby: Hi Dina. Good to see you.
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Joey: Ahhh! I heard "I do", were halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
Trudie Styler: Im not giving concert tickets to someone whod use their son like this!
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Rachel: (To Dina) Really? (Nods her head at Bobby.)
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Rachel: So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?
Joey: Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb NutsOh forget it! I cant!
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Rachel: Oh! I would love to read a poem.
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
Phoebe: Yeah, so please, please, please, dont say anything to Chandler.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Joey: (to Monica) We did?
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Rachel: Ross youre not listening to me, I dont have time to stop.
Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.
Monica: Hi, nice to meet you!
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! (she closes her robe)
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
Rachel: Im not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Chandler: Oh, believe me, to survive this party, you're gonna have to come up with one too.
Ross: I dont want to do that.
Phoebe: I-I, came to fill your ice cube trays.
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Joey: Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Joey: We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
Joey: Itll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Chandler: Okay (he goes to sit down).
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Joey: (mad and pointing a finger to himself) JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Ross: I gotta get to work.