words in movies
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison.
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, uhm... listen he was supposed to get a weekend furlough, so he'd come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and... uhm... well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Joey: Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just trying to be nice for the kids!
(cut to Ross, Chandler and Rachel)
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Ross: What? (Ross and Chandler don't know what to say, so there's an embarrassing long pause)
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Ross: (to Chandler) Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman.
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
(Cut to Chandler and Ross. Phoebe comes out of the ladies room and they run toward her.)
Phoebe: I decided to pee.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Chandler: Just not enough to put us in the original wedding party.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears)
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Phoebe: (starting to panic) Oh my God, everything is such a mess. Why is this happening to me?
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Chandler: (smiling to himself too) That's what I was doing too.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Chandler: I'm not supposed to tell you.
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
(Cut to Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Ross storm in looking very unhappy)
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Ross: What? A dog? No! Rachel gets to choose.
(all eyes turn to Rachel)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
(Cut to Phoebe who is in the living room, still on the phone.)
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh...
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Chandler: (to Ross) Na ha ha... (to Chappy) Ne he he... (Ross moves Chappy to Chandler, who quickly backs away) Ah ah...
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
(we cut to Monica)
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
(one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey)
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe he hooked up with that hot girl he was talking to.
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[cut to later]
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
[cut to later]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
[cut to later]
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
[cut to later]
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
[cut to later]
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[cut to later]
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
[cut to later]
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Amy: H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...?
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
PHOE: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
[cut to later]
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
[cut to later]
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
[cut to later]
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
(cut to later in the day)
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Chandler: We really need to take those tests?
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Phoebe: Well, youre just gonna have to try.
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
[cut back to the present.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.