words in movies
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Phoebe: Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)
(Chandler tries to comprehend that remark.)
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Joey: But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.)
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Gary: Okay, now I've really have to go!
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Rachel: Well, I didn't know what else to do!
Joey: No, in Ross's building! (He throws Rachel onto the chair and heads to the window.) She's back! She's back! (Pantomimes) Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. (He counts where she is again.) Got it! (Runs out and does a little hot over a chair.)
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Joey: (Looking around) Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there?
Joey: Later! (He runs away down the hall and hides behind a corner to a whole other corridor.) Oh man! (Walks down the hallway in desperation.) Hot girl! Hot girl!!
Mr. Zelner: It's really nice to see you again.
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
Mr. Zelner: Here let me (He goes to wipe it off himself.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
(Joey, Monica, and Ross all point to their lips to get Rachel to once again notice the ink on her lip.)
Chandler: (To Gary) So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun?
Gary: I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Phoebe: You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go?
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Ross: Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)
Jen: I'll see you later. (Starts to walk away.)
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
Joey: Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something.
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
Ross: Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's office, Rachel has come back again to try and do that second interview.]
Rachel: Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again.
Mr. Zelner: That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped.
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Mr. Zelner: Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot.
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
[Cut to the inside of Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Mark: Clever. (back to Rachel) So how are you?
Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.)
[Scene: Phoebes Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling Phoebe.]
Rachel: Im gonna get back to retraining. (gets up)
Phoebe: Well, this is none of my business. (starts to walk away)
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Monica: (entering) I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes!
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
Ross: Okay, that's great. (Susan gives her drink to Carol.) No, I'm- Oh.
(the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings")
Rachel: Oh, wait yes, but I cant eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
Rachel: Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Erica: Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
(She heads to the bathroom and Joey sits back down.)
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Phoebe: (mouths to Chandler) Soul mate.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Rachel: Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
Jennifer: (to Lisa) Operation. You had a fun one.
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Phoebe: Oh, he needed some time to grieve.
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Hooker: Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. (Does the close sign.)
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Joey: Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Amy: Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma)
Joey: Sure! Whats up? (He grabs a plate and proceeds to load it with a huge pile of scrambled eggs. Chandler just stares at him and Joey reluctantly gives him a spoonful.)
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Ross: Oh no. Dad! Dad! What (He goes to open one of her boxes and it rips apart.) Oh God everythings ruined! Dad, shes gonna be crushed!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
[Flashback to the gang in Central Perk in The One Where Nana Dies Twice, theyre all going through an old photo album.]
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
Rachel: Do we have to tell her?
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>