words in movies
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Give it to me.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm going to kill you.
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
[They start to kiss. They try to get each other's shirts off but can't get the buttons undone.]
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm>
Monica: Something to remember me by!
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Ross: Ok, Michelle, it�s time to go.
Jill: No, you've got to whip it.
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Chandler: No, wed just like to close them.
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
Chandler: Oh well, thats uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Ross: We have got to start locking that door!
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Rachel: Well try to keep it down.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes slinking out to where Tag works and checks to make sure no one is coming.]
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Chandler: What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Elizabeth: Well, I really wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run. Ill see you later?
Joey: Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin to that place.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
(one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey)
The Fireman: Please reattach this, its against the law to disconnect them.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Aurora: Okay. Oh no, I have to.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
(He sinks to the sofa, saddened by Ursula's ultimatum, while Phoebe follows, touched by Joey's good heart.)
Joey: So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
BIG BULLY: This couch belongs to us.
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Max: Yoko. (To David) I've decided to go to Minsk without you.
Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money)
Precious: Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Rachel: All right, I promise. Ill fix this. I swear. Ill-Ill-Ill-Ill talk to her.
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Chandler: Well, now, I actually have to get to work.
Paul: Good. Good. Not that we dont want you to stay, obviously youre welcomeHow much more homework do you have?
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
Rachel: (offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?