words in movies
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Give it to me.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm going to kill you.
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
[They start to kiss. They try to get each other's shirts off but can't get the buttons undone.]
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her.
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Chandler: Uhh Yeah sure. (Holds the camera up to his face.) Click!
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Fireman #1: So uh, youre not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
Rachel: Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Monica: Honey, we dont really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Joey: (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Janine: (not sure of what to make of that) Okay.
Aurora: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Ross: Rach, she's not going to remember this.
Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.
David: No, I'm... not going to Minsk.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
[Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Monica: It sure is nice to do this together, isnt it?
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Phoebe: No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!
Phoebe: Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
Phoebe: Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?!
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
JOEY: OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Chandler: You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: You and your stupid fear. I hate your fear. I would like to take you and your fear....
Ross: Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.