words in movies
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Ross: Okay is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?!
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Rachel: (standing up) Okay. Yknow what? Id have to say I really dont care for your tone. And this is not the only hospital in this city and we have no problem toWhoa! (She starts a contraction) Oh gosh! Whoa!
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
Dr. Long: Ill be back in an hour to check you again.
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Monica: Yeah but I was just screwing with you to try to get your voice all high and weird like mine is now!
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Mrs. Geller: I actually needed to talk to you before the birth.
Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.)
Ross: Ma, youre asking me to marry you?
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Ross is returning to find another couple has taken the place of Marc and Julie.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Ross: What happened to the Disgustingtons?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Ross: (to him) Hey! You wanna live to see your baby?!
Evil Bitch: Dont you talk to my husband like that you stupid bastard!
(Ross shrugs his shoulders to Rachel and Sick Bastard closes the screen all the way.)
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Chandler: But nothing has to happen until your ready.
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
[Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.]
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Man: Well umm, if you have sometime yknow and maybe you might want to visit someone else
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
Doctor: Oh my. Were gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Squeeze your legs together and cover the babys ears!
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Cliff: Id have to say the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that youre making me eat him.
Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? Im sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.)
Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Cliff: I dont believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
Cliff: And then you tried to make me think that I was crazy.
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Phoebe: Uh Joey, were trying to dial down the crazy.
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Cliff: It doesnt happen to me either.
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
Dr. Long: Rachel youre gonna have to push even harder, nothings happening!
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Ross: Uh actually, we-weve narrowed it down to two names.
Ross: So I guess were back to uh, Baby Girl.
Rachel: Well what are we going to do?
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
Monica: I dont want to say.
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Janice: (entering) Yoo-hoo! Aaron Litman-Neurolic would like to say hello to his future bride.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
Ross: I mean we dont want to go down that road do we?
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
[Fade to black.]
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
Phoebe: No, Im just deciding which one to useIm gonna start writing another book!
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Rachel: (jumping up to answer the phone) Hello!
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Why do men keep talking to me like this?
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Dr. Harad: Okay. You ready to push again?
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
(they just look at her for a moment; then they go back to checking the tickets)
[Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.]
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Luisa: You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.
Joey: So he likes to break stuff.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man.
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Joey: (To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's speaking to a girl.]
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
[Cut to Chandler and Monicas as they enter.]
Rachel: Ooh, I have to go pack. (Gets up to do so.) It really does?
Monica: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that.
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Chandler: So you you dont want to live with Don in a cheese house?
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her.
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Chandler: Uhh Yeah sure. (Holds the camera up to his face.) Click!
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Fireman #1: So uh, youre not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
Rachel: Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Monica: Honey, we dont really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Joey: (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?