words in movies
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
[cut back to the gang.]
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
[cut to Billy and Robin]
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
[cut to the gang]
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
Billy: (to Joey) Hey, Im trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Monica: He didnt ask me to marry him.
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
[cut to outside of Central Perk]
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Ross: Yeah, its the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guys pretty huge!
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
[Scene: The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.]
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: Oh, about five minutes. Right now theyre interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Rachel: Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Rachel: I just y'know, I didnt expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb)
Phoebe: (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no.
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Pete: Its okay, its not as bad as it looks, its a precaution. Ah, Im not supposed to move my spine.
Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
Monica: Then Ive gotta go. Bye. (kisses him and starts to walk out)
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
TV Announcer: Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, hes just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
Chandler: Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Monica: Alright, we have to talk.
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Robert: (to Joey) Hey!
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like that.
Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Joey: You play hard to get.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
[Cut to kitchen.]
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Guy: Hi! Its Tom, Im here to pick up the phone.
KEVIN: So, we're on our way to a couple of parties.� Um. . . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Sophie: I love Mark. (to Ross) Do you know Mark?
[Scene: Joey's bedroom. Joey's asleep with Hugsy, the penguin right next to him.]
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
Hillary: And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
(Joey looks down and his look turns from shock to satisfaction.)
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
(Ross goes to call her.)
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
To Be Continued......
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
[Cut to Joey and Janines.]
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Chandler: Listen Phoebe, hes right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Kim: You expect me to believe..(Doors open, Ralph steps in.) Hi Ralph.
Tag: I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.)
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Chandler: Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.