words in movies
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) 14.
Ross: Huh. Yknow whats not one of a kind? A twin!
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?
ROSS: Hans...Hans...Yo evil twin.
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Joey's Hand Twin: You can't sit here if you're not gonna play.
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Joey's Hand Twin: That's okay. (Walks out.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Oh-ho, yeah. Yeah, the hand guy.
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Joey's Hand Twin: Do I know you?
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Joey's Hand Twin: Nothing?
Joey's Hand Twin: (tries to leave) I have to get back to
Joey's Hand Twin: Stop it!
Chandler: What's an identical hand twin?
Joey's Hand Twin: Are you gonna play?
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Joey's Hand Twin: Please stop it!
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
ROSS: That's right, he's not Drake, he's Hans Remore, Drake's evil twin.
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
[Scene: The Men's room, Joey is entering and sees his hand twin washing his hands.]
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!