words in movies
Chandler: Okay, so I guess thats about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
(She turns and looks in the mirror, and its way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Danny: You two could really hit it off! I'm gonna go mingle. (Leaves.)
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
The Salesman: You two are really gonna enjoy that couch.
Monica: Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
Chandler: Okay, well, it's definite, two more weeks of winter.
Chandler: (checks his watch) Two hours, that lasted!
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Ross: Okay. All right. So lets see, lets play from the trash can, to the lightpost. Right. Two hand touch, well kick off.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Phoebe: You two will have very hairy children.
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Rachel: What-Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering with a peace offering of a Joey Special, two pizzas.]
Monica: Really? Whos number two?
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Ross: Yes, second in two years. Third overall.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
Chandler: Two fours.
Rachels Boss: Now Mr. Kaplan Sr. likes his coffee strong, so your gonna use two bags instead of one, see. Now pay attention, cause this parts tricky, see some people use filters just once.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Phoebe: (entering, carrying two garbage bags) Hey!
Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..
Joey: A two and a five.
Ross: Well certain other people take two hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Monica: No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Chandler: Two!
Monica: Two!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is playing that string game with the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with the mail.]
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
All: Three, Two, One!
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils!
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Joey: (singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........
TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Paul: You two were married?!
Chandler: No, there were two.
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Ross: So you two are really serious?!
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Joey: Man, hell of a two weeks, huh? Y'know what, though? I really feel like I learned something.