words in movies
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.
(The baby starts crying, and the doctor holds it up.)
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Monica: We can't split them up!
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
(He stands up.)
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
(A guy comes up and gets into the backseat of the cab.)
Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up.
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe we can open this up somehow.
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
[Scene: The gate. Rachel walks up to the man at the gate and gives him her passport.]
(She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.)
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
(Rachel hangs up.)
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
(The passenger stands up and gets his suitcase from the overhead compartment.)
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Phoebe: Oh, look what we almost left. (Picks up a coffee maker)
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]
BIG BULLY: Ok, nothing from the neck up. [everyone gets ready for the fight] Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating.
[Scene: The hallway between the two apartments, Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are coming up the stairs.]
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Rachel: Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa)
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
The Dry Cleaner: (picking up a TV Guide) Show me in the table.
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
The Doctor: It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound.
Mr. Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Monica: Oh (realizes her pants are undone and zips them up)!
Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
FBOB: Uh, public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes. [kisses Monica]
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Chandler: (jumping up) Hey! Phoebe! We can talk to Phoebe!!
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Monica: It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
Monica: Hey, cheer up! Youre gonna see her again, right?
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Melissa: (suddenly frightened) Shut up!
Ross: No, no, we will. We just wont tell her she messed up.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Oh, hey, dont you have to go pick up Emily?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Monica: (looking up) Ross, whens this comet thing start?
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Allesandro: Why? So you could hang up on me?
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Rachel: (groans) Oh God. Oh I cant believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
Joey: Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh?
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?