words in movies
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.
(The baby starts crying, and the doctor holds it up.)
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Monica: We can't split them up!
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
(He stands up.)
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
(A guy comes up and gets into the backseat of the cab.)
Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up.
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe we can open this up somehow.
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
[Scene: The gate. Rachel walks up to the man at the gate and gives him her passport.]
(She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.)
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
(Rachel hangs up.)
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
(The passenger stands up and gets his suitcase from the overhead compartment.)
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
Chandler: Whats up?
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
[Scene: Gary and Phoebe's apartment, it's morning and they're both waking up in bed.]
Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers! (Gets up to answer it.)
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
Chandler: Y'know, it wasn't that big a deal. He just balled up socks... and a melon...
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
(She hangs up anyway.)
Chandler: Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is running up the stairs. Note: This show continues where the last one left off.]
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa)
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Ross: (jumping up) No! No! No!
Joey: (cracking up) Nope, you lost me.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is eating breakfast as Rachel enters having just woken up.]
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Okay, (takes out a notepad) Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads aft.)
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
Chandler: I found a dried up seashores.
[Cut to Monica walking up to Chandler.]
Monica: Are you gonna dress up as Santa?
Joey: Wow! Yeah I ah, I gave up a job too.
Dr. Green: So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Lisa: But le Blanc really doesnt mess up much.
Chandler: Sure. Ummm. Whats up?
Chandler: Oh, okay, time's up!
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
DR. BURKE: Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Sleep Clinic Worker: Um-hmm, and did you stay up all night in preparation for your sleep study. (Joey doesnt answer) Uh, sir? (Joey starts snoring)
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.
(The couple moves up to the counter.)
(They go up to the counter.)
(Mrs. Waltham hangs up on her.)
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
(they both start up the stairs.)
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Joey: Hey dude, what's up?
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty!
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Chandler: Sure, whats up?
Ross: You set her up?!
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like shes actually doing the dishes.]
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Chandler: Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
Rachel: Wrong! How do you get the mainsail up?
Rachel: You shut up!
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...