words in movies
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
Joey: Im doing my scenes with you?
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Monica: Hey! Okay, so I thought wed start with my make up and then do my hair.
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Ross: He-he was with me umm, were playing a little game, yknow? Hide and seek.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Joey: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Monica: Oh, Id like a latte. Oh yknow what? If youre gonna talk about me, Im gonna go with you.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
Phoebe: With?
Ross: Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Monica: I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Phoebe: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
Joey: (speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say?
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once.
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
Phoebe: Ooh, I'll go in on that with you! I couldn't think of anything.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.
Rachel: Yeah and you stretch em out with your big old clown feet.
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Ross: Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Chandler: We dont have to come up with this now.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Rachel: (interrupting) Still in love with?!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Rachel: (looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
(Ross enters with a gift for the baby.)
Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, shes not with us.
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Chandler: Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!
Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this.
Monica: Come on, no peeking! (They are leading the gang out with there hands over their eyes.)
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
(Chandler enters from his bedroom, all depressed and wearing sweat pants, with the chick and duck in tow.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Chandler: Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
ROSS: Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!