words in movies
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: Oh yeah, youre solid. Yeah, youre just no me.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: You really think so?
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Phoebe: (overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: You sold me out.
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Monica: Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: Oh wow! Okay man, Im sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Joey: You hug me!
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: Okay, Ill see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Mindy: Hey, you.
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.
Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk?
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.
Mindy: What do you mean?
Phoebe: You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'
Rachel: You know what? Ive been thinking about it. Im really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that.
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Barry: Both of you?
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Monica: You okay?
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: You know he's gay?
Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.
Rachel: You don't know?!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
Monica: (interrupting) Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight?
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah!
Phoebe: What are you talking about? Sarah's great!
Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, shes not with us.
Monica: How-how are you, Mom?
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Joey: Where've you been?
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Rachel: Well did you know he was gonna ask me?
Chandler: Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Joey: (entering the bathroom) What are you guys doing in here?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh yes! Youre an excellent chef! As a person youre a little
Joey: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!
Rachel: Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but Im soo happy!
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Phoebe: No, but you can't.
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Monica: (takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)
Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever.
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
Monica: ...love you.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Monica: A monkey. Have you seen a monkey?
Rachel: Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
RICHARD: You really need the bassinet?
Ross: Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you.
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Monica: Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?