words in movies
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
ROSS: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental.
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
CHANDLER: You bitch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
JULIE: Where you goin'?
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
ROSS: OK sweetie, I'll see you later.
JULIE: See you later Rach.
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
DUNCAN: You always said I'd make it.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright.
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
PHOEBE: So, um, have you told your parents?
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Amy: (touched) Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
Ross: What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch?
Jester: Uh, may I help you?
Ross: Are you jealous?
Charity guy: Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Richard: No you do. You... just...
Rachel: What're you guys doing out here?
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Richard: Its good to see you.
Chandler: So you you dont want to live with Don in a cheese house?
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Ross: What are you doing?
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Courtney: Okay. You know its gonna happen.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Joey: All right, you got it.
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: (entering) You guys, youre never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! (Shes holding a flyer.) Look kinda familiar?
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Rachel: Why aren't you at work?
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Richard: You really sure?
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.
Joey: (sits down next to Ross) First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
Joey: Duh, where've you been?
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
Monica: Honey! Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?! I mean I never said I wanted to have babies and get married right now!
Gunther: You dont need to fill these silences.
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Chandler: Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
Joey: Then why would you say that?!
Chandler: You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?
The Saleswoman: Did you cut this couch in half?
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
Rachel: Joey, honey, I dont think youre supposed to go back there.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
Rachel: Please tell me youre not gonna dress up like a dinosaur.
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Richard: Well, you seem fine.
Monica: Oh no! You werent supposed to see this!
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
Phoebe: What?! I thought you were crazy about her!
All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Chandler: You know, our band is playing on Friday.
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Trudie Styler: You must be Bens mum.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Ross: Okay. (sees two people sitting in their seats.) Uh, huh. Excuse me, Im sorry, I-I think you may be in our seats.
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: Hey, whered you get that?
Chandler: All right, all right, Ill go sleep with my girlfriend. But Im just doing it for you guys.
Rachel: Yeah, you bet.
Chandler: You mean a three pointer?
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
Monica: Well, what did you do?
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say
Joey: Hey, what have you guys been up too?
Chandler: Well, you do want all that stuff, right?
Monica: What are you doing with the lamp?
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.