words in movies
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
ROSS: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental.
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
CHANDLER: You bitch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
JULIE: Where you goin'?
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
ROSS: OK sweetie, I'll see you later.
JULIE: See you later Rach.
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
DUNCAN: You always said I'd make it.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright.
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
PHOEBE: So, um, have you told your parents?
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Phoebe: Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom?
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Phoebe: Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
Monica: What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Phoebe: Hello. Oh good. Ross could you put up some of these flyers for me? (He smiles at her.) OH!! Demon!! Demon!!
Ross: Ohh, you can see them, huh?
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh my God...
Monica: Chandler? Can you give me a hand? (Grabs her jacket)
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Rachel: Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss.
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Ross: Oh sweetie, when do you think youre going to get off tonight?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Rachel: Me? Im great! Im fine! Im sooo good!! But, you know whos not great?! Men! Youre a man right Ross?!
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Monica: Uh, where do you think you're going?
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Monica: You did? How?
Ross: Yeah, you too. Man, so-so what are you up to?
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
Erica: (in pain) Ooh! Are you sure?
Ross: You keep, you keep... You can't...
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Chandler: Where are you going?
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
Rachel: Oh wait, dont you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Ross: Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Rachel: Good. You?
Ross: Hey. How did you sleep?
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Joey: I bet you did!
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
Chandler: That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling.
Monica: Oh, you did it!
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Rachel: Yeah, you like that baby? (Monica bursts in followed by Chandler.) May we help you?
Chandler: How do you feel?
Monica: What do you mean "what do we do"?
Joey: (laughing) Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go!
Monica: (to Erica) Anybody tell you?
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Phoebe: Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off!
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Ross: You really think so?
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Monica: We'll call you!
Ross: I'm not getting you a muffin!
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Chandler: I know! You ready to trade?
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly)
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Ross: Oh my God! You did that yourself?
Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Monica: Ok, I dont wanna be negative so Ill say that most of the signs you bought are good.
Monica: I love you.
Chandler: I love you.
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Ross: (sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?
Monica: Call us when you get there.
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Phoebe: So, you just let her go?
Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold?
Ross: No, you don't understand. This isn't a real cab.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Ross: Ah, what good are you. (Walks back to his map dejectedly.)