words in movies
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
ROSS: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental.
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
CHANDLER: You bitch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
JULIE: Where you goin'?
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
ROSS: OK sweetie, I'll see you later.
JULIE: See you later Rach.
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
DUNCAN: You always said I'd make it.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright.
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
PHOEBE: So, um, have you told your parents?
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
The Interviewer: Okay, how about when youre not working. What do you do in your spare time?
Joey: Here you go.
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
Monica: All right, youre telling me you can eat an entire turkey in just one sitting?
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
Chandler: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Rachel: Thank God youre pretty. (Exits.)
Ross: No, hey, well, I-I completely understand. You were, you were stressed.
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Joey: Good for you!
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!
Phoebe: No Im not! You are!
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Hillary: You know, youre a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Mel: You are so fired.
Elizabeth: You are so adorable.
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Sebastian: Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
Chandler: Are you funny?
The Singing Man: Hey! Youre back!
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Monica: (to the bartender) Thank you.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Sebastian: Okay! See you later! (Exits.)
Joey: You meant sex, right?
Rachel: Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card (opens the card). "From Gavin"
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Monica: In 1981 you were 13!
Chandler: Well, maybe you dont marry this one.
Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
Joey: Wow! Im so sorry; I had no idea it would bother you this much.
Chandler: Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Eldad: How are you?
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Carol: Youre a genius, Ross.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Jack: What are you doing here?
Chandler: (to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.
Ross: Hi. I-I hear youre going on a ferry tonight.
Chandler: Oh, you don't want me on the trip?
Phoebe: Since when are you into swing music?
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do?
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
Phoebe: Im so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see youre play. I swear youre play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. Youre play is the next play is the next play Im gonna see.
EDDIE: That's very thoughtful of you. It's very thougtful.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh God, you saw me?! Oh!
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Sophie: You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. Thats it, on Monday I start wearing make-up.
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Rachel: Yeah, Why? You don't think a woman can do this?
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Joey: (entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?