words in movies
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you?
STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that?
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
ROSS: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental.
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything.
MONICA: What have I not told you?
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
CHANDLER: You bitch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
ROSS: You were in a porno?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
JULIE: Where you goin'?
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
ROSS: OK sweetie, I'll see you later.
JULIE: See you later Rach.
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great.
PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you.
PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice.
DUNCAN: You always said I'd make it.
DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed.
ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her]
CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright.
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago?
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything.
PHOEBE: So, um, have you told your parents?
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous?
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Monica: Are you a virgin?
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
GUY: What're you doing?
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Phoebe: Well, why are you doing this anyway?
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Rachel: (with a hurt expression on her face) Okay, but before you go, could you help me first?
RACH: Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend.
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
MONICA: Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been?
Ross: So when do you think youre gonna talk to her?
Larry: Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies (Holds up his hands) have been.
RACHEL: What do you mean?
Monica: Youre getting a crush on your sisters fianc�e.
Joey: So youve been sittin around here all mornin?
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
RACHEL: Well I love you too.
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Ross: Youve sentenced him?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
RACHEL: Well you better.
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!
INTERVIEWER: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.)
MONICA: Did you like it?
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Janine: Thank you. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
RACHEL: Would you guys stop.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Emily: Yeah, but it-it-its my whole lifeyou come to England.
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Kate: What? So you never went out with an actress before?
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Ross: No, you started it.
Joey: Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango?
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Amy: Oh, sweety, you can’t pull this off.
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Rachel: Youre a pathetic loser, right?
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
ROSS: Do you say this stuff to girls?
Kiki: Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
SUSIE: How you doin there squirmy?
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
RACHEL: Well, there's you.
MONICA: You really ok with it?
Monica:: what's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Ross: Oh, come on, now you know you want em.
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?