words in movies
Rachel: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Phoebe: Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. (Quickly) Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites?
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
Dr. Miller: But your chin here. (She does so.) Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye.
Joey: Uh no, not really. It's an independent film y'know? So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room.
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Chandler: Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high.
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Monica: Put your head back.
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Phoebe: Oh, come on! Yes, remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! (Realizes) Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely.
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
Monica: No, I-I havent seen your pink shirt.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
MONICA: Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. [she starts throwing oranges at Ross who's looking pleased with himself]
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Chandler: Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little.
Chandler: Inever borrowed your Walkman.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Mona: Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! (She leaves.)
Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!
Joey: Come on Pheebs! I cant take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? (Starts singing.) Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on!
Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair!
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Rachel: Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
Joey: (angrily) Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! (She gets up and heads for her room.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright.
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
Ross: Well I, close your eyes, I just think youre gonna like this a little better, cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
Chandler: Oh yeah. Ill take, Ill take your picture. (He takes the picture with his finger over the lens.)
Joey: (he stops screaming at action) "Take good care of your Momma son." (Again Alex does nothing.)
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)
The Interviewer: So, according to your bio, youve done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything youre particularly proud of?
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Chandler: Really? What changed your mind?
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Rachel: Y-Yeah! What-what is your wifes name?
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Monica: Hey! Howd your date go with Jake?
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Rachel: Wow! They really got you guys. Your T.V. The chairs.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Ross: Oh, no-no-no dont you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Ross: Well, when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce, sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?