words in movies
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, thats what you need a good pill.
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Yknow she has a face Ross!
Mona: Okay. Okay, heres a good one of us.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Phoebe: Wait, Im-Im sorry. Whats the big deal about a holiday card?
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, weve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Mona: How many did you want? Im getting a hundred.
Ross: A hundred?! Well, I-I guess Ill take aMona, uh I-Im not sure about the whole uh, card thing.
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Mona: Oh yknow, I didnt think of it that way. Youre right. Youre right. So, can I ask you a question?
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Yknow who Im talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Dr. Schiff: Im a doctor.
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I dont have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Ross: Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Making her a mixed tape?
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Ross: But thats not enough. So So heres a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
[Scene: A Strip Club, Doug and Chandler are there.]
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Rosss door.]
Ross: Okay, and oh Im gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all.
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Rachel: Yes. Hi, Id like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) Ill call you back.
Rachel: Im sorry honey, Im just having a, having a rough day.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
RICHARD: Like a hound?
Rachel: Oh Ah! (Sees a big stuffed gorilla) Oh my gosh theres something every mother needs, a giant stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment! What are people think (Reads the card) Oh you guys I love it.
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
Phoebe: Wow you guys got a hospital? Fancy!
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Phoebe: I dunno, well he got over the "We were on a break" thing really quickly.
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandlers meeting continues.]
Phoebe: And a scented candle for the bathroom, because well, y'know.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a Huh?
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Joey: (excited) A little bit more.
Joey: A little bit.
Joey: Im sorry! It was a reflex!
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
Ross: Actually Im a palian Dinosaurs is fine the drawing is not.
(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Monica: About a week and a half.
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way.
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
Joey: A year?!
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Monica: So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
Joey: You know, ah, Ive been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, its not my fault. Its a natural instinct.
Chandler: Really? Oh What A Beautiful Morning! Surrey With A Fringe On Top.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Mary Ellen: I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Girl: (Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
Sally: Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?