words in movies
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
ROSS: Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.
MR. TREEGER: He musta been sweepin'. They found a broom in his hand.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
JOEY: Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
RACHEL: Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
ROSS: There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.
RACHEL: Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
MONICA: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Ross: Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Monica: All right umm, a string quartet for the procession.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im with a client right now.
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Chandler: What a sweet story.
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
[Scene: A Restaurant, scene continued from before the break.]
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Monica: No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.
Monica: (laughs) Yknow what? I-I dont want a big, fancy wedding.
Rachel: Do you even know what a vicar is?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing her checkbook as Joey enters from his room wearing a hockey helmet, gloves, and shin guards.]
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
Ross: As a romancer of the elderly.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Chandler: Uh why, do you have a lecture?
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Monica: I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype.
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Monica: You gave my father a lap dance!
Chandler: Not that big a deal? There there was touching of things.
Phoebe: Come on, its not that big a deal!
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Ross: Whoa-whoa, arent you a little over dressed?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Is that what you want to do? You wanna go over and give a little shout out to the old, hot chickas? Okay, lets do that Sailor Joe. Quick question though, (grabs some of the rigging) whats this called?
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Phoebe: Yeah, they thought I was a whore.
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Monica: No, just a Friday night.
(They all take a bite.)
Ross: Lets give it a shot.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, I was just about to take a break anyways, so
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Its left sweetie, but thats okay sweetie, thats a tough one.
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didnt know whether I should call or not, yknow I-I was only in town for a few days. And yknow, I didnt want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you andbut I didnt know if you wanted to see me.
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
Ross: Oh yeah! Batch 17 was good. I did not like batch 16. (Burps a little bit.) Im okay.
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
Rachel: I gotI get a big pay raise!
Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)