words in movies
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
(They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
Rachel: I gotI get a big pay raise!
Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
[Scene: Rachels New Office, shes interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.]
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Rachel: All right. (Hilda exits) Im a total pro!
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
Tag: I know I havent worked in an office before, and I really dont have a lot of experience, but uh
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebes secret?
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
Terry: Its a different building.
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Ross: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.
Ross: Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Ross: Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Joey: Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there.
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Tag: Phoebe! Thats a great name.
Phoebe: So you hired yourself a little treat did ya?
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
Tag: Do you have a minute?
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
CHANDLER: (noticing a beautiful blond walking in) Ooh, oh, oh, that's her.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
Phoebe: Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.
Ross: She is a kook.
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Chandler: You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Ross: Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Phoebe: Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky....
Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Ross: So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Chandler: Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Monica: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Joey: We have a half hour.
Ross: Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now.
Ross: 'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Joey: What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech?
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
Phoebe: Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Phoebe: Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)
CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Ross: Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! (He grabs the ring, kisses it, and then does a double-take realising where its been.)
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
MONICA: One hour? You are such a leaf blower.
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)
(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)
Rachel: No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting.
Chandler: Jeez, what a baby.
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
[Cut to Ross at the kiddie table. He reaches for something and a fart noise emanates which causes the kids to laugh.]
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Machine: Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Ross: Wow! What a pleasure.
Ross: So we're a little late.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Phoebe: Oh, you're not a dingus.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
Ross: Wait a minute, look.
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.