words in movies
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Monica: Wh?! What about my allergies?!
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Chandler: Okay, well I wont uh, worry about this anymore then.
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Joey: Oh dear God, let me think. (Starts to sarcastically think about it.)
Chandler: (horrified at the prospect of trying to quit alone and unsure about himself) I wanna quit the gym.
Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Rachel: Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!
Joey: Well I dont know remember exactly but, its-its pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Monica: I hope youre hungry, were starting with oysters. And yknow what they say about oysters, dont you?
Chandler: Hey thats what I tell girls about me.
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
Gunther: What did I tell you about talking to your friends while youre working?
Ben: What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Monica: Well, I did one time, and-and I want to start doing it more. See thats what this is about.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Ross: Oh, okay. What-what about?
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
(A group of about 10 guys and no women come running around the corner.)
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Monica: Phoebe, stop writing about us!
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultees presence.)
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
[Scene: Macs Office, Mac is talking to C.H.E.E.S.E. about their case.]
Rachel: Yeah thats great. But first, wait, talk to me, talk to me. Tell me about your day.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Paul: Are you talking about having sex?
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Nancy: So anyway I sent the designs over to Ralph and he's very excited about the line.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.